Was going to do my weekly blog update, but Monday I was still on the end of my golf trip, and by the time I got home, started getting sick. Had an absolute blast on the trip. It’s about 40 guys, and we go twice a year. I look forward to it each and every time. With this trip of course, I had some goals that I set during the 5 weeks leading up to it. The big 1 I did achieve, which was no alcohol for the 5 weeks. The rest I’d say I did about 75% on. I ate very low carb and dropped 17lbs. And though I wanted to drop 25, it was still a productive 5 weeks for me. I say 75% because the walking portion of my plan was nowhere close to what I set it out to be. And as the weather was still nice, this was the “easier” time to do that…winter is coming, and I don’t have a gym membership (clearly not an impossible problem to solve, but I digress haha)

During the golf trip, I let things go a little bit (a little might be taking it too easy on myself, if I’m being honest). Went for Mexican food tradition Thur night and I ate like I usually do there. Also drank a fair amount the entire weekend. Had a big cheeseburger, and even had some fast food at the end. Though I drank less than usual (for that trip) and actually came home with unfinished liquor (a 1st for the golf trip)…it was still a pretty heavy weekend of drinking.

But here is a big part of the reason I wanted to write this post. At this stage in my life, I’m pretty good at recognizing my own patterns. And 1 of the biggest I can identify (maybe aware of is a better description) is that I will set a goal, typically short term…be SUPER motivated to achieve it…and then let myself slide once I have done it. Even though it’s not really near the “end goal” I had set out for.

I’m guessing this happens for a lot of people. Long term, sustained motivation is something I struggle with. And since America is at what, 2/3 obese? I’m guessing this isn’t a rare thing. But I’m still the 1 who needs to live MY life. And I’m responsible for MY actions and MY results.

This is a big reason I started this blog…to hold myself accountable. And by getting in here, writing weekly posts, and having an actual end goal…it’s my backup plan for what I’ve typically done (achieve a short term goal, and then just go back to “normal”)

And while I am thinking about the end goal, I definitely went a little too loosey goosey over this past week after getting home…it wasn’t quite White Goodman at the end of Dodgeball 🙂 But I drank a couple nights this week and this morning I had another fast food meal. Last night I had a great time with my son, we went to the Cheesecake factory, and while my main dish was a cobb salad, we ordered a side of meatballs that came with the most ridiculously delicious bread I’ve ever had…And I ate about 5 pieces of it.

While I don’t want to beat myself up for indulging here and there…i absolutely DO want to make sure I don’t let a ‘bad week’ become normal and just excuse it away. And this is part of sustained motivation, at least for me. Since I know myself, I know that the moment I just excuse it away, is the moment I start making more and more excuses…and return to exactly what I was doing before I started this whole thing…and that’s when it falls apart…and I CANNOT do that…not this time. I don’t have to be perfect, but I have to achieve what I set out to do. Especially when I have setbacks…and they will happen (life IS supposed to be fun here and there)

It’s easy to get down on myself. It’s easy to just say, well, lots of people are fat, lots of people have eating and drinking issues. But where has that gotten me? Where I was and have been, isn’t good. It isn’t good for my health, it isn’t good for my self worth. It isn’t good for my overall mood. It affects how good I am at my work. It really affects everything, overall. When I feel better, I do better at life…plain and simple.

I felt GREAT during most of that initial 5 weeks. I could feel the weight coming off, and looking forward to stepping on the scale the next week was a great feeling. Putting on that shirt I couldn’t fit in a couple months back, felt great. I need to keep THOSE feelings in mind, and keep putting in work…instead of excusing bad behavior away, and taking the easy route.

Perhaps this is just a ‘note to self’ for me (which I certainly need haha)…or maybe at some point, reading this can help someone else if they are struggling with a goal they know they WANT and NEED to stick with…when the normal ways of doing things are much easier, more comfortable etc.

The last time I dropped a bunch of weight was after a difficult breakup. In that case, the motivation came easy. I had to keep my mind and body busy, as I was hurting and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about the relationship. I don’t know that it was a “I’m going to show her” as much as it was more along the lines of just needing something to get myself through…Either way, my ass was motivated AF, and I dropped a good 30lbs. It’s not easy to recreate a certain mindset, but I can use that as an example and remind myself that YES, I can get it done when I stay motivated and focused and driven.

Alright, that was good therapy for tonight 🙂 I’ll hop back on the scale on Monday and we’ll see where we are at and what we need to do to get back on track.